The beginning of another day. The SLOW beginning.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"Okay." Wesley kept his eyes on Spike, unable to keep from smiling slightly just because he was able to look at him. "I suppose that means I have to let go of you."

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Nah. I can reach." Spike leaned over and pressed the call button resting on the bed on Wesley's other side.

About three seconds later, a voice came through the little speaker. "Yes, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce?"

"Could he get something to drink?" Spike asked.

"Certainly. The doctor has cleared him for that. Shall I bring him some juice, or would he rather have water?"

Spike looked to Wesley for the answer.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Water would be fine, thank you," Wesley said, turning his head toward the small speaker so that she'd be able to hear him.

"Okay -- I'll be right in with it," the nurse said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"See? You didn't have to let go." Spike squeezed Wesley's hand.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," Wesley said, giving Spike a grateful smile.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

That look in Wesley's eyes made Spike's chest clench in a good way. "Not like it's a sacrifice. I want to be touching you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No, I meant... for everything," Wesley said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike looked down almost shyly, then gave Wesley a soft smile. "I love you. I have to try to make this easier on you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"God... you're so gorgeous. I'm very, very lucky, which believe me is not something I would have imagined myself saying considering where I am right now." Wesley said the words easily, the drug in his system taking any edge of his self-consciousness.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wasn't quite sure why him being gorgeous made Wesley feel particularly lucky, but perhaps it was because he at least had something nice to look at in the boring room. "You are lucky to be where you are, pet," Spike reminded him.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"But if I didn't have you, I'm not sure if I'd care," Wesley said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You really don't like your life that much?" Spike asked with a frown.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley sighed wearily. "It's just that..." He shook his head, not knowing how to explain that the last time he'd been seriously injured, he'd discovered almost immediately afterward that none of his friends wanted anything to do with him.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"What?" Spike asked. "That you don't have anything else? That's not true."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The door opened then, saving Wesley from having to answer. The nurse that came in seemed somewhat familiar to Wesley, although he couldn't have said for sure. She walked directly over to Spike, smiled, and handed him a bottle of water, a cup of ice, and a wrapped straw.

"I didn't know if you'd want it cold," she said to Wesley. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thank you," Wesley said.

"Good. You aren't due for more pain medication for about another hour, but that's not strict timing, so if you feel like you need more before then, let me know. Or if there's anything else you need."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Spike said. "I won't be shy about asking."

"I know you won't," the nurse said, obviously holding back a grin. She turned her attention back to Wesley and asked, "Do you want to try sitting up a little? It might be uncomfortable, but the bed will do the work."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley nodded, hoping he didn't seem as reluctant as he felt. "It might make that easier," he said, gesturing at the bottle Spike was holding.

"Okay. Here, just let me move a couple of things..." The nurse stepped closer to the head of the bed and Spike moved back to give her room as she rolled the IV pole nearer to the wall.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

The nurse adjusted the medical equipment and then leaned down to get the control for the bed. She set it on the mattress next to Wesley and said, "You can see that up and down are marked here. That raises and lowers the back, sitting you up. I'll let you do it so you're comfortable. You shouldn't be able to hurt yourself, but you might feel a bit of pulling inside." She gestured to her own abdomen. "That's normal."

Spike made sure to look over at the controls as the nurse explained them so that he could get Wesley comfortable or lower him down if he fell asleep.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Feeling rather on display, Wesley picked up the control and tentatively pushed the up button. The bed made a low grumbling sound as the head of it rose slowly. He waited until he felt the first twinge of discomfort in his gut, then shut it off. "Is that all right?"

"No, I'm the one who should be asking you that," the nurse said, touching his shoulder gently. "Is it?"

He nodded. "I think so."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

It was stupid, Spike thought, to be annoyed that a nurse was taking care of the man you loved, but on some level he was. She had taken over what little he could do and left him feeling helpless and rather useless again. He told himself firmly to get over it.

"You can always lie down again if it gets to be too much, but it's good for your body to adjust to new positions," the nurse said to Wesley.

"How long can he stay like that?" Spike asked.

"As long as he wants," the nurse replied, "but he'll probably be more comfortable lying down when he's sleeping."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"On the plus side, this way I'm less likely to spill water all down my front," Wesley said, glancing at Spike and smiling.

The nurse checked the IV one last time. "I'll leave you two alone. Don't hesitate to let me know if you need anything."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Thanks," Spike said, and the nurse smiled at him on her way out. "So what do you think?" He came back to lean against the bed and gestured with the bottle of water. "Cold or room temperature?" He smiled more warmly at Wesley than the question deserved because it was so good to see him in a position other than supine.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Cold, please," Wesley said, setting the control for the bed down beside him. He knew that they'd been having a conversation about something before the nurse had come into the room, but he couldn't quite remember what it had been.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike opened the cap on the bottle and poured the water into the ice-filled cup. Unwrapping the straw, he stuck it in the cup before offering the drink to Wesley. "There you are."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," Wesley took the cup, sucked a cautious sip of water through the straw, then rested the cup and his wrist against the mattress, because the last thing he wanted was for an unsteady hand to result in a damp bed. "Let me know if you see any of it suddenly leaking from holes they forgot to plug up," he said, glancing down toward his wound.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Think we would've noticed that already," Spike said with a faint grin. "How does it feel, sitting up?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Okay." Wesley looked up at Spike.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You don't sound all that enthusiastic," Spike commented.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No, it's fine," Wesley said. He didn't want the water anymore -- he was trying to shake the feeling that they'd been having an unpleasant conversation before the nurse had interrupted. "Were you upset with me?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike blinked, confused. "When?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Before the nurse came in." Wesley should have let the matter drop, if it already had. Should have left it where it fell. But he couldn't.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike thought back for a moment. He remembered being frustrated and unhappy, but it wasn't at Wesley. "No," he replied. "I wasn't upset with you. Just trying to sort out why you said you wouldn't care if you were alive or dead."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Oh." Wesley recalled the conversation now. "It was more that I was remembering," he said, knowing that as an explanation it fell woefully short of the mark.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Remembering what?" Spike asked. He wondered if being away from Drusilla for so long had made him grow out of practice following the conversation of people not quite in their right minds.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"What it was like before. It might have been like that again." Wesley offered Spike the cup back, doing his best not to let his hand tremble.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"It wasn't going to happen again. Things are different for all of you." Spike accepted the cup before Wesley could drop it and held it by his side.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I know," Wesley said, but in that moment, he didn't know. He felt shaky, uncertain.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Wesley looked a bit lost, and it made Spike's brows draw together with worry. "They've been to see you here, with their memories all polished up and back where they belong. Don't you remember? Things between you are all right."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I know," Wesley said again. He remembered, believed it intellectually, but emotionally it felt rather unreal. "Sorry. I'm... it must be the medication."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You seem fairly together to me." Spike searched Wesley's eyes and asked, "What's bothering you, pet? You're sounding like your life's empty when it isn't."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No," Wesley said simply. "It's not."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Then hell if I know what's going on," Spike said with a small sigh.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Knowing that there was no possible way that he could explain at the current time, Wesley sighed, too, and rubbed a hand across his face to hide his confusion.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

For lack of anything else to say, Spike played with bending the end of the straw up and down for a moment and then held out the cup. "Want some more water?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley shook his head slightly. "No. Thank you."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/72943.html).