Finally facing the day. Sort of.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"She's got past the point where all she wants to do is play card games, watch the telly, and paint my nails," Spike said. "She'll be looking for adult conversation, too." He was struck a bit too late by the thought that Wesley didn't want to spend time with her, since he'd had such a negative reaction to the thought of going to see them. His mental picture of contentedly listening to the two of them talk about obscure texts and other topics far above his head began to fade, and he said, "Well, that's a long way off. She's probably too busy for a holiday, anyway."

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Spike had clearly remembered that Dawn didn't like Wesley. "I'm sure she'll want to come see you," he said reassuringly. "I could go away for a weekend, maybe. Give the two of you some time alone?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Whatever doubts Spike still had about his conclusion were wiped away. "You shouldn't be chased out of your own home," he said firmly. "And I doubt she really wants to be friends again, anyway, so..." He shrugged.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Love..." Wesley kissed Spike slowly, unable to understand what had brought about this sudden change in attitude. "She contacted you. She obviously cares about you, and I know you care for her. I don't... I won't stand in the way of that. I don't mind going, if it will make things easier for the two of you. The last thing she'd want would be my physical presence, considering how she feels about me."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I doubt she feels much of anything about you, since it's been years since she's seen you." Hoping for a clue as to people's current feelings, Spike tried to remember the reaction to Willow's trip to L.A., but they had all been so caught up in the First that there hadn't been time to discuss more than the basics. Besides, he hadn't paid much attention beyond the disappointing fact that Angel wasn't dusted and the more interesting development of Faith joining them. "Look, if she were here, I'd want her to get to know you. Us. If you don't want to be around her, she's not coming." He left aside the whole issue of if she would even want to.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's not that," Wesley protested. "I was..." He realized that what he was about to say was going to sound foolish. "I was anticipating that she wouldn't want to be around me. Which, I suppose, is something we should let her decide."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike was torn between being relieved that Wesley wasn't refusing to see her and frustrated that he was so sure of her thinking badly of him. "I know it'd take you both some time to get comfortable with each other, but if she doesn't want to see you she's not welcome," he said, holding Wesley's gaze. "Honestly, pet, I don't see her saying that. Especially not after she knows how I feel about you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You'd... you'd be willing to tell her?" Wesley asked, looking up into Spike's eyes.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Why wouldn't I?" Spike was surprised that it was even a question. "I'll have to find some way to tell Buffy first, but I'm not going to hide it."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The thought of it twisted Wesley up inside -- what Buffy would think, what she might say. What if Buffy made a play to get Spike back? "How do you think she'll react?" he asked hollowly, feeling ill and far away.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Spike said, considering the question for a moment. "She's used to having me at her beck and call, and I'd wager she thinks I'll take her offer. She won't understand why I'm not." There was a dull ache in his chest at the thought of hurting her, but he didn't know how to avoid it.