And still with the books.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"I like red meat," Wesley said, focusing more intently on a few paragraphs for a moment. "Although I suppose it's rather outdated to admit that in California at the current time. I'm sure I'm meant to be proclaiming my love of broiled fish and foreign vegetables that have been shredded into matchsticks."

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The way that Spike said that -- resigned, as if he'd sort out a way to convince himself -- gave Wesley pause to the point where, when the microwave beeped and stopped, he continued to stand there rather than fetching his soup. "No."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike deliberately misunderstood. "I admit it's not the nicest city in the world," he said, rocking back on his heels with an attempt at looking casual, though Wesley was watching him intently enough that he doubted that he'd let the real topic drop, "but it's not like I have to breathe the smog, and I've got good at avoiding the sunshine."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No," Wesley said again. "Staying somewhere that you don't want to be isn't an option. We'll find a compromise."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I told you I'll stay if you want to be here. That's the compromise." Crossing his arms over his chest, Spike glanced pointedly at the microwave. "Have your lunch."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley nodded and moved over to get the bowl. "I will," he said, "but I'm not done with the conversation. And that's a compromise -- me eating when I'd rather be talking. You staying in L.A. because I want to, even though it will make you unhappy, isn't compromise -- it's sacrifice, and it's not one I want you to make. I'd rather leave and be with you somewhere else than stay here with you when you don't want to stay." He stood there holding his bowl of not quite hot soup.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Right, because it wouldn't be a sacrifice for you to leave the job and people that are important to you just because I don't like some of the neighbors," Spike drawled, though the idea that Wesley actually would was preposterous. "I don't know why you're having problems with this, Wes. All I said is I'll do whatever you want. There's nothing to argue about."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Because I don't want this to be about what I want," Wesley said, setting the bowl down on the counter. ""I want it to be about what we want. I'd like it to be a decision we make together, about something that will make us both happy."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wasn't sure why he should feel so defensive when he was just being flexible and taking Wesley's wishes into consideration. "That's great if we agree, pet, but if you feel strongly about something I'll go along with it, even if it wouldn't be my first choice. I thought you'd be happy to hear that. It should make things easier for you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's not that I'm not happy." Wesley struggled to find the words to explain. "But I don't want things to be easy if they're at your expense. In the long run, that would only make things harder for both of us."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I think you're underestimating my selfishness," Spike said dryly.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I don't think I am."