And still with the books.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"I like red meat," Wesley said, focusing more intently on a few paragraphs for a moment. "Although I suppose it's rather outdated to admit that in California at the current time. I'm sure I'm meant to be proclaiming my love of broiled fish and foreign vegetables that have been shredded into matchsticks."

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Red meat is good, the bloodier the better." Spike skipped quickly over the first few sections of his book. "All the more reason to get out of this state. Not to mention the threat of being chased by an angry mob every time you light up in public."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Have you found that to be a problem?" Wesley asked. "Actually being chased, I mean?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Not here, no," Spike said a bit absently. He read more carefully a paragraph that looked promising, but it ended up being too vague to be helpful.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley's stomach contracted slightly, as if the talk of food had given it ideas. "That soup is in the fridge?" he asked.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike nodded. "Yeah. Bottom shelf."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Thanks." Wesley turned a few more pages.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike didn't pay much attention to the time during the day, since it wasn't like he could go anywhere, but he remembered that Fred had said that she had come late for lunch, which meant that Wesley had missed another meal. Spike glanced over at him. "You going to have some?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Frowning as he concentrated on a paragraph that he was almost certain didn't apply, Wesley nodded a bit. "Yes, I think so. What about you?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'm not hungry," Spike said truthfully, though he might have had some blood anyway if he hadn't been aware of how quickly he seemed to be going through it and how little money he had to replace his dwindling supplies.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley looked around for something to use as a bookmark, didn't spot anything immediately, and instead moved to balance the open book on the back of the sofa as he got up. "I'll be back in a minute then," he said, heading for the kitchen.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"All right." Spike was strongly tempted to follow, but he knew that the research was more important, so he stayed where he was. He managed to skim another page before he got up anyway. "How does it look?" he asked when he joined Wesley in the kitchen.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Having just finished pouring some of the soup into a bowl, Wesley put it in the microwave and shut the door. "Good," he said, pushing buttons. "It was sweet of her to bring it by."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"She cares about you. You'll miss her," Spike said. "All of them." It wasn't a question.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Wesley said flatly, moving to take a spoon out of the drawer.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"We don't have to go," Spike said quietly after a moment. He hated the thought of Wesley remaining at Wolfram and Hart, but he hated the thought of him being unhappy even more. He knew that he wasn't enough to replace what Wesley would be losing. "After their memories are restored, it might be easier for you to stay."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Somehow I seriously doubt that," Wesley said. "Either way, I don't see how I could possibly continue to work with Angel if I can't trust him."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

A bit sad for Wesley but also relieved, Spike nodded. "All right. It's your decision. I just want you to know I'll do whatever you want."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley glanced at him. "You don't have to do that, you know."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike shrugged. "I know," he said, though he rather thought he did if he wanted to be with Wesley.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Then why do you?" Wesley stepped a little bit closer, watching Spike's face.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I love you," Spike said, slightly uncomfortable under Wesley's scrutiny.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"But you don't want to stay," Wesley pointed out. "You don't seriously think that I'd insist that we stay, knowing that you'd be unhappy, do you?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike knew that Wesley wouldn't insist that they both stay, but there was no question in his mind that if Wesley got it into his head that it was best for him to remain at Wolfram and Hart with his friends he'd let Spike leave without him. "If you'd rather be here, I'll deal with it. There are worse places to be."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The way that Spike said that -- resigned, as if he'd sort out a way to convince himself -- gave Wesley pause to the point where, when the microwave beeped and stopped, he continued to stand there rather than fetching his soup. "No."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike deliberately misunderstood. "I admit it's not the nicest city in the world," he said, rocking back on his heels with an attempt at looking casual, though Wesley was watching him intently enough that he doubted that he'd let the real topic drop, "but it's not like I have to breathe the smog, and I've got good at avoiding the sunshine."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No," Wesley said again. "Staying somewhere that you don't want to be isn't an option. We'll find a compromise."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I told you I'll stay if you want to be here. That's the compromise." Crossing his arms over his chest, Spike glanced pointedly at the microwave. "Have your lunch."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley nodded and moved over to get the bowl. "I will," he said, "but I'm not done with the conversation. And that's a compromise -- me eating when I'd rather be talking. You staying in L.A. because I want to, even though it will make you unhappy, isn't compromise -- it's sacrifice, and it's not one I want you to make. I'd rather leave and be with you somewhere else than stay here with you when you don't want to stay." He stood there holding his bowl of not quite hot soup.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Right, because it wouldn't be a sacrifice for you to leave the job and people that are important to you just because I don't like some of the neighbors," Spike drawled, though the idea that Wesley actually would was preposterous. "I don't know why you're having problems with this, Wes. All I said is I'll do whatever you want. There's nothing to argue about."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Because I don't want this to be about what I want," Wesley said, setting the bowl down on the counter. ""I want it to be about what we want. I'd like it to be a decision we make together, about something that will make us both happy."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wasn't sure why he should feel so defensive when he was just being flexible and taking Wesley's wishes into consideration. "That's great if we agree, pet, but if you feel strongly about something I'll go along with it, even if it wouldn't be my first choice. I thought you'd be happy to hear that. It should make things easier for you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's not that I'm not happy." Wesley struggled to find the words to explain. "But I don't want things to be easy if they're at your expense. In the long run, that would only make things harder for both of us."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I think you're underestimating my selfishness," Spike said dryly.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I don't think I am."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"If you're not then you shouldn't be worried," Spike said lightly. He nodded at Wesley's soup. "Are you planning on eating that anytime today?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley picked up the bowl and spooned some soup into his mouth. It was quite good actually. "It's good," he said. "Do you want to try?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'm not the one who's sick," Spike said with a grin.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Fine then," Wesley said. "All the more for me. Oh, and you'd best stay away -- I wouldn't want to pass on any germs." Which was absurd, of course, but seemed to fit along with the teasing nicely.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You can't threaten me with that, pet," Spike said, shaking his head. "Vampires don't get sick. I can get as close as I want."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You think so?" Wesley asked, raising his eyebrows.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You think I can't?" Spike asked, raising his eyebrow in return.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I suppose that depends on how close you want to get," Wesley said mildly.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike shrugged. "If that's your attitude, I think I'm fine right here."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Uncertain now as to whether they were flirting or arguing, Wesley dropped his eyes to the bowl in his hand and didn't say anything as he ate another spoonful of soup.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/34458.html).