Still snuggling. Awwwwwwww.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

The potential strength of that admission nearly took Wesley's breath away. Of course, Spike probably hadn't meant it quite the way it had sounded, but...

"You could have both," he offered impulsively. Then, concerned that Spike might get the wrong idea, he clarified, "That is... at some point, we might...?"

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike had two choices in front of him: to remain as calm as inhumanly possible or to storm around the room, shouting and smashing things. Although senseless destruction was a very tempting thought, he decided that the first option was the better, since he could always switch to the second when it became necessary. For now, keeping a firm rein on his temper would help him to figure out when exactly Wesley had lost his mind. "Why would you want me to do that, pet?" His voice was neutral, almost entirely devoid of emotion.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Trying to be fair, Wesley attempted to list some of the reasons. "Because... because I want to know what it feels like." Of course, he'd fed Angel the year before, but that had been different -- he'd cut himself. There hadn't been active participation on the vampire's part. "Because I trust you. And... because I suspect we'd both enjoy it."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

In another conversation, Spike would likely have been touched that Wesley trusted him so deeply, but as it was he was too wrapped up in trying to contain his strong aversion to the idea to experience any pleasure. "You want to know what it feels like to be bitten by a vampire? It bloody well hurts, that's what it feels like."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Lots of things are painful," Wesley pointed out. "And if I wanted to know what it felt like to be bitten by a vampire, I could easily have found out before now. I want to know what it feels like when you do it." He stroked Spike's chest soothingly with one hand.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike doubted greatly that it was his bite that Wesley wanted to experience, but even if it had been it wouldn't have changed his reaction. Even when he was involved with Buffy before his soul, he had never tried to bite her; he wanted a relationship, not to be a source of pain, and that was even more true now. "You're not food," he said shortly.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley wasn't sure how he felt about the refusal, but he nodded slowly. "All right."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Wesley's acquiescence didn't make Spike feel any happier, though; he knew that the subject wouldn't be forgotten by either of them. Instead his stomach clenched and his chest ached as even more doubts about why Wesley wanted him surfaced. He had assumed that Wesley cared for him despite the fact that he was a vampire, but perhaps his interest was because of it. Wanting to be bitten was unlikely to have been a recent development if Wesley was willing to bring it up, which meant that it couldn't be specific to Spike. He could understand a Watcher having a fixation with vampires, though that would have been bad enough, but Spike was convinced that there was one particular vampire that was the focus of Wesley's desires. It sure as hell wasn't him.

"I'd do almost anything for you, but I'm not going to hurt you," he said finally.