reality_bends | Looking at flats

"We need a bath and a shower," Spike agreed. "I want both." He tried not to think about what it would be like to be with Wesley in them, though, because there was nothing he could do about that now, and he hated to be frustrated. Even sitting next to him was a huge production.

"Yes, definitely both." Wesley went back to the list and selected a rather more expensive flat. As soon as the photos came up, it was clear why it was more costly. "Oh. Like this." The bathroom had a glass-enclosed shower on one wall and an enormous old-fashioned bathtub beneath a skylight.

"Very pretty." Spike couldn't be enthusiastic about it, though, not with all of that glass. "Have to pay attention to the time there, or else you'll be washing me down the drain."

"There are ways to get around that," Wesley said, wondering if this was Spike's way of telling him that he didn't want to accept Angel's offer of necro-tempered glass.

"Suppose there are." Spike didn't take his eyes off of the screen, but he found his mood declining as he was reminded yet again of how his nature didn't fit into Wesley's life. "The tub looks big enough for two, maybe even three."

"We don't need it to fit three," Wesley said. He turned his head again and looked at Spike.

"Not saying we do. Just gives us extra room in case there's splashing." Spike reached over to scroll further down the screen, glancing over more pictures without much interest. "Looks like the kitchen's a good size." It also had a nice big window over the sink; the apartment was a veritable obstacle course of fire hazards for Spike.

"It doesn't have to be too big," Wesley said. "It's not as if either of us will be doing a great deal of cooking." He slid the laptop an inch or two closer to Spike.

Spike grunted his agreement. "As long as there's enough room to spread out the take away boxes on the counter we'll be fine."

Wesley looked at the rest of the photos. "It might not be big enough otherwise, though." The second bedroom was more like a closet.

"Can you save it on that thing to come back to it?" Spike asked. He could certainly see why Wesley would like the sunny apartment, even if it didn't seem appropriate for a vampire.

"Yes, of course." Wesley bookmarked the page and then went back to the main one. "Here's one with a third bedroom. That might be more than we need." Still, he clicked on it.

"Could use it as a library," Spike suggested. "Or a game room."

"True," Wesley said, looking at the available photos. "It's in a rather large building. Windows on only one side of the flat."

Shaking his head, Spike said, "Large building means lots of neighbors about. And you like windows. What's the next one?"

Wesley backed up and clicked on it rather than argue the possible merits of the previous one. The ache in his gut was worse, but only slightly, and he wasn't ready to give up quite yet, even though he knew that this was a bit pointless, since chances any of the flats they were looking at now would still be available when they were ready to move were slim at best. "Hm. This one's not bad."

It looked like another flat to Spike. Windows, hardwood floors, walls in colors that didn't make his eyes hurt. "What do you like about it?"

"Well, it's rather bland looking, isn't it?" Wesley asked. "Lots of potential for making it ours." He liked that idea.

"The books'll help with that," Spike said, smiling a bit. "Put them all about, and it'll be home."

"We could paint," Wesley said, reaching over and running his fingers along Spike's arm, wanting the contact. "Buy whatever furniture you like. Get a big tv."

Spike looked over and met Wesley's eyes for the first time in a while, and some of his dissatisfaction melted by seeing him so close. "Wouldn't want to take up space from the bookshelves," he teased.

"They're not important," Wesley said. "We could live in a closet, as long as there's room enough for the bed. Although that might mean entertaining potential clients in ways I hadn't been anticipating." He didn't want to look away from Spike's gaze.

"No, the bed's just for us." Spike leaned in just slightly closer, pressing their shoulders together a bit more. His smile faded somewhat as he looked at Wesley, just drinking him in, his face, his eyes, the reality of him living at all.

"Are you okay?" Wesley asked softly, after a moment.

"I'm happy to have you," Spike admitted just as quietly.

Wesley smiled. "You do have me. I'm not going anywhere. Well, unless you do." He gave Spike's arm a reassuring squeeze.

"You almost did." Spike hated to bring it up, but he couldn't forget it. If he closed his eyes, he could still feel Wesley's cooling blood covering his skin.

"I promise it won't happen again," Wesley said. "I'll be more careful."

"You can't promise that, love." Spike's voice was gentle and sad. "You won't have any control over the next bloke holding a knife."

"I'm on drugs," Wesley pointed out. "Don't destroy my illusions." He smiled apologetically. "But I will be more careful. And I'll never leave you of my own free will. Never."

While Spike could see the determination in Wesley's eyes, he could also see the unusual vagueness caused by his medication. "Tell me that again when you're not as high as a kite, all right?"

"All right," Wesley said, wincing slightly as he shifted his weight to lean in and kiss Spike's shoulder. "I'll tell you as many times as you like."

"Careful. Don't hurt yourself." Twisting his upper body, Spike ran his hand up Wesley's arm to his shoulder to guide him to lean back against the bed. The change in position gave him the opportunity to get closer, which he took advantage of, sliding in next to him as gently as he could.

"I'm okay," Wesley said. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm glad I can be. I'd be going mad if I had to wait somewhere else." Spike rubbed his palm over Wesley's shoulder with a careful touch. "This way I can look after you myself."

"It won't be long," Wesley promised. "I'll get out of here and we'll move and everything will be fine."

"I'll wait however long it takes," Spike said, looking seriously into Wesley's eyes. "You're worth it."

"I hope so," Wesley said softly.

"Do you really think I would've stuck by your side every minute you slept if I didn't think you were worth it?" Spike cupped Wesley's cheek, a little thrill going through him that he could be this close to him. "I love you. I'll do anything for you. Even be patient."

"Patient?" Wesley echoed. "You really must love me." But he was smiling a slightly crooked smile, and he reached up to grab onto Spike's hand.

"Haven't you been listening?" Spike asked with a little laugh. "That's what I've been telling you, pet. I do."

"I know. I know you do." Wesley said the words with a sense of wonder that he suspected might never fade.

"At least you haven't lost all your sense, then." Spike twisted his hand so that he could twine his fingers together with Wesley's. "God, you have no idea how much I've needed to touch you." He leaned his forehead against Wesley's temple, shutting his eyes for a moment. "Even this much."

"Me, too," Wesley said, inhaling a bit shakily and tightening his grip on Spike's hand.

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/73434.html).

Looking at flats

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