Trying to get along. Ha!

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"No, I know," Angel said, sounding good-natured. Wesley wasn't sure if it was genuine or an act, and the fact that he couldn't tell made him uncomfortable. "I just want to know."

Feeling rather helpless, Wesley shifted his chair sideways a bit and rested his hand on Spike's thigh, the tension in the vampire's frame impossible to miss.

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike placed his hand over Wesley's now that he wasn't bearing the brunt of the attacks, rubbing his thumb gently over the back of Wesley's balled hand.

"I can see why you think it is," Angel admitted, "but I still think my decision was a good one. Things were better."

"Only because you took out the parts you didn't like and turned your friends into puppets in your own little fantasy land," Spike said.

"They weren't puppets." Angel turned to Wesley. "You weren't puppets. You were you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I wasn't, not really," Wesley said. "I was a different version of me. Not the real one."

"It was still you," Angel insisted. "It's not like I was... forcing you to do what I said. You had free will. You'd just forgotten Connor and some of the things that happened with him. That's all."

"For someone who altered the memories of his friends and family and who continues to say how important it was, it's unbelievable to me that you'd now try to persuade me that it wasn't a big deal," Wesley said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Angel leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table. He was looking increasingly desperate for Wesley to understand him. "Making Connor safe was important, but it didn't change who you were."

"It doesn't work that way," Spike said, shaking his head. "You took away part of what made them them."

"No, I didn't."

"If you'd had your memories, would you have made the same choices you did?" Spike asked Wesley.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Wesley said. "It doesn't matter."

Angel frowned. "What do you mean, it doesn't matter?"

"I mean it doesn't make any difference whether or not I'd have made the same choices. Partially because there's no way to know, but also because it wouldn't change the fact that you altered my memories without my consent."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I know, but..." The way that Angel blinked so forlornly at Wesley might have made Spike feel sorry for him if he didn't hate him so much. "I was trying to do the best for everyone."

"Next time try asking them first," Spike said.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"It was a deal," Angel said desperately. "If they'd asked for more, I might have given that, too. My own memories, all the perks that came along with the position -- I didn't ask for those, you know."

There was a lot in what Angel had just said -- too much for Wesley to take in all at once, probably. He focused on the last thing. "No, you wouldn't have, would you." The vampire would have been just as happy being miserable, when it came right down to it.