reality_bends | Conversations that would probably go much better if they weren't drunk

Wesley shook his head. "Not enough." He kissed Spike again, very softly, wishing that it were possible to actually feed Spike his emotions -- all of the love and gratitude and affection.

Spike smiled and swallowed back the lump in his throat. "I don't think we're ever going to agree on that."

"I don't know if I can stop wanting to give you what you need," Wesley said, watching Spike's face carefully.

"You already are." Spike kept his eyes locked squarely on Wesley's and said, "I couldn't ask for more." It was something of a question of semantics, but it was also at its heart true.

"You mean you won't ask," Wesley said. The thought made him sad, so he tightened his arm around Spike, just pulling him as close as possible and holding him, hoping that this sentimentality could be blamed on drunkenness.

Sometimes Wesley was far too perceptive. "I don't have to ask," Spike said, his voice muffled against Wesley's shoulder. "You've given me more than I ever thought I'd have." It was easier to say when he didn't have to meet Wesley's eyes.

"I'm so sorry, love," Wesley said, cradling Spike to him even more tenderly, running a gentle hand up and down Spike's back. "I wish... I wish things had been different for you."

Spike shook his head, clenching his jaw and trying not to take too much of Wesley's comfort. "It was my own fault. Most of it, anyway," he said. "But after I got my soul, I thought Buffy forgiving me was the best that could happen to me, not that I thought it was possible. This - you - wasn't in even my wildest dreams." He laughed hoarsely and rolled his forehead against Wesley's shoulder. "I should've drunk more. Then I might say these things but I wouldn't care."

"Don't say them if it's too much," Wesley urged, grateful for every word Spike had managed so far but not wanting to push it. "I love you either way. Nothing will change that."

The situation couldn't be so simple. "All that's not your problem," Spike said. "But I want you to understand why I'm not going to ask for more."

"But you won't be angry when I try to give it to you?" Wesley wanted to make sure that they were both on the same page.

"Not angry. There are some things it'd be hard for me to accept, but I'm not going to be angry." Spike kissed Wesley's shoulder and lifted his head, loosening his hold somewhat and trying to pull himself together.

Wesley let Spike go a bit, stroking a hand along his hip gently. "Are you all right?"

"Let's see. You're in my arms, and we're both naked." Spike shifted his hips forward, his erection responding nicely as it slid against Wesley's skin. "All right isn't good enough." He dropped the false cheer enough to say, "I'm fine, love."

"I'd want to know if you weren't," Wesley said. "Just for the record. But since you're fine..." He dropped his hand down to fondle Spike's cock lovingly.

"Not a worry in sight," Spike said, the last word getting a bit raspy as Wesley's thumb rubbed over the tip of his erection. Wanting to turn the focus onto something other than himself and always happy to try to get a moan out of Wesley, he trailed his fingers over Wesley's hip to ghost them over his cock. "How are you?"

"I'm fine too," Wesley said, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment as Spike teased him. "This -- being with you -- is just what I needed."

Spike wrapped his hand loosely around Wesley's cock, tracing the vein on the underside with his thumb. With his other arm he pulled Wesley in, settling his head on Spike's shoulder. "I needed it, too. Needed to know I had you."

"Of course you do. Have me." Wesley was having one of those moments where he wasn't sure he was making sense, all of his focus suddenly concentrated on what Spike's hand was doing.

"A lot happened today. I needed the proof." It was as close as Spike could come to explaining how concerned he was that Wesley was going to go against what he had said and run back to Angel. He tightened his hand, gently stroking Wesley's erection and hearing with satisfaction his heart begin to beat faster.

"Proof?" Wesley couldn't keep his eyes open now, not with what Spike's touch did to him.

Spike smiled at the question, which illustrated Wesley losing his concentration. "That I have you," he explained. He kept his stroking steady and slow, enough to make Wesley's cock swell in his hand but not enough to drive him to the edge too quickly. "I couldn't pick a favorite part of your body, but this -" He squeezed a bit more tightly. "- would definitely be in the running."

Wesley gasped. "It appears to be... rather fond of you too," he said, unable to keep his hips from pushing forward slightly.

Spike loved Wesley when he was like this, so responsive, agreeable, and, best of all, focused on him. Just listening to Wesley's ragged breathing and feeling his hips moving with his hand made Spike happy. "What does it think about fucking me? Or do you want more of this?"

"Oh God," Wesley said rather breathlessly as his erection twitched almost painfully at Spike's words. "Yes. God." He didn't even know what he was agreeing to.

"Yes to what, love?" Spike wasn't sure that Wesley was sober enough for his first suggestion, so he stroked faster, passing his thumb over the slick tip and feeling his own cock harden further in response. "You feel so good."

"Spike..." Wesley's breath hitched in his throat and he shivered. "I can't think when you do that." Then, nearly whispered, "Don't stop."

"I won't," Spike promised, kissing Wesley's temple. He kept his hand moving, alert to Wesley's reactions and adjusting his rhythm accordingly. "I love how warm you are, how hard you get for me. Do you have any idea how good you feel in my hand?"

"Do you have any idea how fast this is going to be over if you keep talking like that?" Wesley managed to say with a shaky smile, reaching down to grip Spike's erection in an attempt at distracting himself.

"I like talking to you," Spike said, closing his eyes briefly as Wesley's hand settled around him. "I love making you stop thinking and just feel what I'm doing to you. And there's so much I want to do to you."

"Don't tell me," Wesley said, gritting his teeth as a surge caused his balls to tighten and his erection to harden just a tiny bit more. "God. I don't want this to be over so soon."

"Sorry." Bringing his natural flow of words to a halt, Spike slowed his hand slightly to a pace that was less demanding. "Better?"

"Better," Wesley agreed. He smiled again, just as shakily as the previous time. "You don't have to stop talking altogether. Just make sure you give me some time now and then to recover."

"I don't want you to recover," Spike said, returning the smile. The heat from Wesley's cock felt like it was burning into his palm and edging up his arm, and his scent was all Spike could smell. He wanted to say how captivating Wesley was to him, how much he loved getting lost in the feel of his body, but he followed Wesley's instructions and kept quiet.

Wesley wanted to moan, but he didn't allow himself to. What Spike was doing felt so good that he wanted it to last forever, and yet there was an ache for more, to be closer, even more intimate. "Spike. God, Spike..."

Spike just kept stroking Wesley's erection, occasionally rubbing over the head or twisting his hand the way he liked himself, but he didn't push any faster. "Love you," he murmured.

Wesley shuddered and inhaled sharply, letting go of Spike's otherwise neglected erection to put his hand over Spike's, stopping him. "Fuck me. Please? I need... I need you to."

A surge of arousal went through Spike at Wesley's words. "That won't hurt you?"

"Please," Wesley said, ignoring the question in favor of kissing Spike.

It would have taken a far stronger vampire than Spike to resist such a plea. He dragged Wesley closer and kissed him enthusiastically, the way their erections rubbed together drawing greedy noises from deep in his throat. "Tell me what you want. Do you want me on top of you again?"

Trying to think of a proper answer didn't seem to get him anywhere, so Wesley decided to trust his instincts, what there were of them at this point. He turned over without rolling away from Spike, so that his back was to Spike's chest. "Like this," he said, turning his head for a kiss and reaching behind himself to grip Spike's thigh.

Spike tightened his arms automatically around Wesley, pulling him firmly back against him. "Perfect," he murmured, meaning both the position and the feel of Wesley in his arms. He trailed one hand down Wesley's stomach, brushing over his cock but not lingering. His own erection was pressed eagerly against the curve of Wesley's ass, and he shivered as he rocked his hips forward and kissed Wesley harder.

Wesley squirmed back against Spike unthinkingly, wanting nothing more than Spike's cock inside him, fucking him. "Spike..."

"I've got you." Spike guided Wesley's upper leg back over his own so that he was more open to him, and then he reached between them to stroke the head of his cock along the cleft of Wesley's ass and over his still slick opening. "You have no idea how much I want to be in you," he said huskily in Wesley's ear. He had wanted the feeling of Wesley's weight holding him down and Wesley's cock and teeth leaving their mark on him, but this was so very nearly as good that he couldn't feel at all disappointed.

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/51010.html#cutid1).

Conversations that would probably go much better if they weren't drunk

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