Still drunk, still naked, still talking.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"I know," Spike said, but he also knew that he wouldn't bring up most issues, not when his position in Wesley's life was so precarious. It was far better to adapt. He smiled and gave Wesley a soft kiss. "You're not bothering me."

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"What? You mean endless discussions about the state of my emotional instability don't bother you?" Wesley asked.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I wouldn't call you emotionally unstable," Spike said seriously. "You just haven't had what you need."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Which just brought them back around to the idea that Wesley shouldn't need the things that he did. Closing his eyes, he held Spike to him tightly and didn't say anything.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike could feel the tension in Wesley's body, and he thought vaguely that it was unfair that someone could be so drunk and yet still be so unhappy, though he was certainly personally acquainted with the phenomenon. "Does talking about it help?" he asked. "Or was that your way of saying you want to stop?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I don't know," Wesley said miserably. "Sometimes I think nothing can help. Not enough, at any rate."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'll do whatever I can," Spike said, wishing that they had brought the whiskey in so that he could do something blot out the feeling of helplessness. He wanted to be able to fix everything, but his history had proven that he never lived up to his ideals. "Tell me and I'll do it."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Just... love me," Wesley said, lifting his face to seek out Spike's mouth, wanting to kiss him long and hard until some of the misery went away.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I do," Spike murmured, giving himself over to Wesley's demanding kisses. He held Wesley tightly and tried to pour out his emotions into the kiss.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley opened his mouth to Spike's, their kisses gradually slowing although they grew no less intense. He moved his hands eagerly over Spike's skin, stroking it with his palms.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike's body unsurprisingly began to react to Wesley's proximity, and a little moan of pleasure escaped him at being kissed and touched so lovingly.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I want to show you too," Wesley murmured. "What you mean to me."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to do anything special, pet," Spike said, trying not to be needy, though he craved every bit of love Wesley might offer. "You've already given me so much. More than I deserve."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"There's nothing," Wesley said emphatically, laying a hand on Spike's cheek, "that's more than you deserve. You deserve everything I could possibly give you, and much more."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike doubted that he would ever agree with that statement, but he didn't see much point in arguing. "Thank you," he said quietly.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley smiled sadly. "It's true. I can tell you don't believe it, but it is."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Catching Wesley's hand in his own, Spike turned his head to press a kiss on Wesley's palm. "I know a lot better than you what I deserve, but thank you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You wouldn't like it if I said that," Wesley pointed out, lifting himself onto one elbow so that he could kiss Spike more thouroughly. By the time the kiss had ended, he'd managed to put together enough words to add, "I'm going to kiss you until I convince you, you know."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You do realize that's not actually an incentive for me to change my mind." Smiling, Spike tightened his arm around Wesley so that he couldn't pull away once the flaw in his logic was exposed. "Although," he admitted, "if you kissed me enough I'd probably agree to anything."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Ah, but I don't just want you to agree," Wesley said, sliding his hand down along Spike's side and stroking over his hip gently. "I want you to believe."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike's smile faded, but he didn't look away from Wesley's eyes as he said softly, "I'm sorry, love, but that's not going to happen."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

That made Wesley sad, but he bent his head and said, "Then I'll have to keep kissing you forever, won't I?" and pressed his lips to Spike's again.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Sliding his hand into Wesley's hair, Spike drew out the kiss until Wesley needed to pull back to breathe. "I can't think of many better ways to spend the time."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Let me do this, at least," Wesley said, brushing his lips over Spike's. "If I can't convince you..."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'm never going to turn down your kisses," Spike said, pulling him in again and enjoying the feel and taste of his mouth. Trailing his hand over Wesley's skin, he murmured against his lips, "It means everything that you feel that way about me."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I do," Wesley said, running his hand along Spike's side a bit more deliberately. "You're invaluable to me. I wouldn't give you up for anything."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

It was hard for Spike to hear statements like that one, because he wanted it to be true so desperately it made him ache all the way through to his bones but he simply could not trust in it. "Wesley," was the only word he could say, a soft whisper of gratitude and resigned sadness, before leaning in for another kiss so he wouldn't have to continue.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Hoping that for at least a few minutes they could kiss and not talk, Wesley tightened his arm around Spike, pouring everything he could into the kiss and pressing his body against Spike's.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike could feel the steady, incredible presence of Wesley's love battling against the pressures of the day, the week, the year and threatening the barriers, the ones whose existence he didn't even admit to himself, so natural had they become, around his innermost self. He tried to focus on the physical joy of having Wesley in his arms, of kissing him deeply and letting his hands wander over his body, but he couldn't completely ignore the temptation of the emotional support Wesley was giving him. "Love you," he said between kisses, a promise and a thank you.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The words were comforting to Wesley -- almost as if, every time Spike said them, some tiny part of himself was healed. And he didn't care that he was more than a bit sticky, or that in the morning he'd have to go back to dealing with the shambles his old life had been left in.

All that mattered was Spike.

"Don't stop," Wesley said, moving his mouth to Spike's ear and biting down gently.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I won't," Spike said, his voice weaker than he would have liked because the feel of Wesley's teeth took some of his breath away.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley felt as if his mouth had to be touching Spike's. He turned his head and caught Spike's lips again, more roughly this time, accompanying it with a soft moan because he felt so much, and it was so difficult to express it properly.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wanted Wesley closer, wanted to pin him to the bed so that he couldn't get away or to have the comfort of Wesley's weight pressing him deep into the matress, but he didn't know which, and he couldn't possibly think about it when Wesley was kissing him so ardently. All he could do was keep his arm locked around Wesley's waist and kiss him back.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Clutching Spike to him as if it might be possible for them to get closer together, Wesley very nearly savaged Spike's mouth, kissing him with a force and desperation he couldn't have explained. "Love," he gasped.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Spike said, unsure what was driving Wesley but not at all unhappy by his fervor. He responded a bit more gently but with equal emotion.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Spike's naked body felt incredible against his own, hard and strong. Permanent. It made Wesley feel reassured, and he was able to calm his feeling of desperation by telling himself that Spike wasn't going anywhere. "Love you," he said, knowing that the words were utterly insufficient.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Love you, too." Wesley's hold on him was nearly painful, but it felt wonderfully possessive to Spike, filling for that moment a deep need inside of him. "I'm yours."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Are you?" Wesley asked, confident of the answer, bending his head to bite at the nape of Spike's neck.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Shivering with emotional and physical pleasure, Spike said, "Yes. Yours."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I hope you mean that," Wesley said, dragging his teeth down over the curve of Spike's shoulder. "Because I don't intend to let you go."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Please don't," Spike said hoarsely, not entirely able to keep his need from his voice. He shut his eyes, but the dizzying lurching of the world and Wesley's teeth scraping over his skin did nothing to help him pull himself together.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You're mine for good." Wesley trailed a path of small but sharp bites along Spike's chest to one nipple, which he flicked his tongue over.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike shut his eyes more tightly, determined not to let himself fall apart despite the surge of intense yearning that rushed through him. He gasped at the journey of Wesley's mouth, his body responding helplessly and eagerly. "I want to be."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley loved the way Spike was responding. "You are," he said sharply, punctuating by biting Spike's nipple a bit less gently than he would have otherwise.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike shuddered, his body arching toward Wesley's mouth. "I am." He couldn't argue; even when Wesley didn't want him Spike would always be his, just as part of him would always be Buffy's or Drusilla's. Or Angel's, an unwelcome thought drifted from the back of his mind, which he ruthlessly ignored.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/50564.html).