Recovering, cudding, post-orgasmic and drunken stupor... call it what you will

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"I don't think I could move if I had to," Spike admitted. His muscles felt satisfyingly weak as he rubbed his cheek against Wesley's jaw, relaxing in his firm embrace. "Thank you. That was just what I wanted."

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

But not what he needed, Wesley thought. They were two different things, in this instance, at least. He sighed and rubbed his hand along Spike's spine. "Don't thank me," he said quietly. "It's not as if I didn't enjoy it just as much."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You know, pet, I can think of at least a dozen people off of the top of my head, which I'm not entirely sure is still attached to my body, who would yell at you for telling me not to be polite. It happens so rarely," Spike said with a faint but genuine laugh. "And I know you enjoyed it; that's why I'm thanking you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You're thanking me for having a good time?" Wesley asked, confused.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Yes. For letting me give that to you. For wanting me to." Spike found the strength to raise his head and look into Wesley's eyes. "That's what I wanted."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'll always want you more than you want me," Wesley said, hating himself because it was true.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"What?" Frowning deeply, Spike propped himself up further so that he had a better view of Wesley's face. "Are you completely mad?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Probably," Wesley said, with a stupid drunken grin. "But that's not what we're talking about."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wasn't sure that he would be able to get a proper answer out of Wesley in his current state of inebriation, but he had to try. "Wesley," he said seriously, "Why do you think I don't want you as much as you want me?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Because it wouldn't be possible." Wesley disentangled his arms from around Spike and reached up to touch Spike's face.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike's heart lurched at Wesley's tender touch. "I think it is," he said gently, wanting to lean down to kiss him but not wanting to dislodge his hands.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No," Wesley said sadly, brushing both thumbs over Spike's cheekbones. "That's why it's going to be so hard when you leave me."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"When I...?" Spike stared down at Wesley with dismay. "I'm not going to leave you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Of course you will. If it's any consolation, I won't hate you for it." Suddenly worried that Spike might leave right then, Wesley slipped an arm back around Spike's waist and held on.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I love you," Spike said, which he thought should be explanation enough that he'd never leave. "I'm only going to go when you tell me to."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'll never do that," Wesley said fiercely, raising his head so that he could kiss Spike. "Never."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Kissing Wesley was far more appealing than arguing with him about making promises he wouldn't want to keep, so Spike brought their mouths together again for a long, languid kiss. "I'm not going to leave you," he said very clearly when they had parted.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

A jolt of desperation went through Wesley, and he rolled them over so that he was on top, holding Spike down with the weight of his body. "Swear it," he said, scraping his teeth along the column of Spike's pale throat.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I promise," Spike said, closing his eyes and shuddering at the passage of Wesley's mouth over his throat. "Not if you want me."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I want you," Wesley murmured. "I don't have... there aren't even words for how much I want you."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Now, Spike thought sadly, but reassuring Wesley was much more important than dwelling on his own insecurities. "I want you, too, love," he said, holding him tightly. "You're everything I could ask for. Strong, loving, focused, loyal. Sometimes scary as all hell. Able to kick my ass six ways to Sunday. And you're bloody brilliant and unbelievably hot on top of all that. You're perfect."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I"m not perfect," Wesley said, frowning. "Not even close. But I love you."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You're perfect to me," Spike said, meeting Wesley's eyes steadily. "I know you're not a saint, Wes, but I don't want that. I want you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley's throat felt tight, but he couldn't look away from Spike's gaze. "I'm... I don't want you to stop."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'm not going to," Spike promised. "There's no way I could. I told you before; once you're in my heart, you're there for good. It hasn't worked out that well for me," he said with something of a grimace, "but you don't have to worry about me stopping."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No one with any sense would let you go," Wesley said. "I certainly won't." He moved the required few inches to kiss Spike, taking care to be gentle and loving.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike couldn't help but be sincerely touched by that comment, though he tried to take it with a big heap of salt because Wesley was so intoxicated. Stroking his hands up and down Wesley's back, he returned the kiss, savoring the feeling of being warm, close, and loved.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

After a few long moments of kissing, Wesley rolled the two of them again, so that they were on their sides facing each other. He couldn't help but marvel that each time he was with Spike like this, he wished that they could stay just as they were. "We were meant to play video games," he said softly.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Trailing the backs of his fingers down Wesley's cheek, Spike smiled and asked, "Are you sorry we didn't?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No," Wesley said. "I'd rather do this."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Good answer." Spike leaned in to give Wesley another soft kiss. "Do you believe me when I say I'm not leaving?" he asked, searching Wesley's eyes for the truth.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I want to," Wesley said, pulling Spike closer, needing to feel their bodies pressed together. "More than anything, I want to."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wrapped his arm snugly around Wesley's waist. "What do I need to do to convince you?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Ducking his chin a bit, Wesley suggested, "Keep reassuring me?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Any time you need it," Spike said, tilting Wesley's face back up with a gentle hand at his jaw.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"That might be constantly," Wesley said, not quite managing to meet Spike's eyes. "Or very nearly."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I could tack it on to the end of every sentence. Something like 'I beat my old high score, and I'm still not leaving you.'" Spike stroked his thumb over Wesley's kiss-swollen lower lip and said more seriously, "If you can't believe my words, just look at my past. I don't leave people I love, not first."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Genuinely upset now, Wesley said, "It's not that I don't believe you. I just... I can't believe that anything this good could possibly last, not for me."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike tightened his arms around Wesley, holding him even closer. "This'll last as long as you want it to, love. I can't do anything about what's happened before or how you'll feel later, but I can promise you that much."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley's response to that was to kiss Spike hard, using his lips to part Spike's so that he could flick his tongue inside. "Forever wouldn't be long enough," he said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Wesley was obviously very drunk, but Spike still appreciated his enthusiasm. "I know the feeling. The more I know you the more I'm captivated by you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Really?" Wesley smiled. "What a nice thing to say."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"It's true," Spike said, smiling in return as he watched Wesley's face light up. "You're sure as hell never dull, not even when you pull back behind that Watcher facade of yours. It just makes me want to crack your shell."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley chuckled softly. "Is that what you want to do?" he asked, running a hand up the back of Spike's thigh.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I want to know what makes you tick. Sometimes that's a challenge." Spike traced Wesley's very tempting lip again with his thumb. "But a good one."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/50081.html).