Wesley's Office, Two Days Later

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

Wesley glanced at the clock -- the hours seemed to pass very slowly when one was waiting for information. He'd spoken with Giles the day before, in a rather lengthy phone conversation, and Giles had said that they had a lead on the Kroisos blade.

Making a mental note to check the availability of a few ingredients in the Wolfram and Hart supply vaults, Wesley turned back to his computer.

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Wandering toward Angel's office after spending the morning watching Fred fiddle with some machine that had more lights on it than all of Las Vegas, Spike noticed that Wesley was at his desk. He stopped in the open doorway.

"Knock, knock," he said.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley looked up. "Spike. How are you?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Fred says my readings are stable, so guess that means I'm good," Spike said. "And you?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'm fine, thank you. Would you like to come in?" Wesley didn't ask Spike to close the door, but instead got up and headed in that direction himself to do it.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Don't want to interrupt," Spike said, but he walked inside and watched Wesley shut the door.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I spoke with Giles yesterday -- they had a lead on the Kroisos blade, I'm waiting to hear back." Wesley returned to his desk and sat down.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Good." Spike rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, I was wondering... Next time you talk to him, if he said anything about how they're doing..."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"They're fine," Wesley said gently, seeing how difficult it was for Spike to ask. "Dawn is settling in nicely and planning to finish high school in England. Buffy's doing well. Giles says she likes it there. That she's talking about staying, possibly permanently."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"She'll hate the weather, but if Dawn's there..." Breaking out of his thoughts, Spike looked Wesley directly in the eye. "Thank you."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley cleared his throat and dropped his own gaze. "Yes. Er. You're welcome." Then, needing to bring it up, he said, "I also asked if any of them might have anything that belonged to you, and Giles said he'd check."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike froze. "And how exactly did you manage that without him wondering why you needed it?" he asked very precisely.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'm sure I didn't," Wesley said, leaning back in his chair. "But there are countless reasons I might ask for something."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"He's not stupid. You don't think he'll put together you wanting that sword and something of mine at the same time and come up with some very interesting questions?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley tried to be patient. "It's an obscure spell -- I doubt he's anything more than mildly suspicious. In any case, I didn't realize you intended to keep your... return... a secret for the long term."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I don't. Just don't want him to be the first with the news, that's all," Spike said.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I can't imagine him saying anything to anyone unless he knew for sure," Wesley said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike considered that possibility. "No, maybe not."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I also spoke with Angel."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

My day keeps getting better and better, Spike thought.

"Yeah? What did the great forehead have to say?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You were right," Wesley said. "He doesn't have anything we can use." That wasn't all Angel had said, not by a long shot, but it was all Wesley was going to share with Spike.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

It wasn't a surprise to Spike or even a disappointment, but he wouldn't have minded to have been wrong for once. "Told you he wouldn't."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I said you were right," Wesley repeated, still trying to sound patient.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I never get tired of hearing it," Spike said with a grin. "Think the amulet will be enough, or do you need to set your bloodhounds on Dru?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I think we'll go with the amulet and hope for the best," Wesley said. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to tell Spike that he'd already set in motion an attempt to find Drusilla, as he didn't think it would pan out and didn't want to get Spike's hopes up.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike nodded. "It's probably better to leave Dru alone, anyway. She's completely off her nut. Snap your neck as likely as invite you up for tea." His mind flashed back to the last time he had seen her, when she had tried to get him to leave Sunnydale with her. "But you know that, right? She was here, in L.A., a few years back. Said Angel set her on fire, so you probably helped."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Er... actually, no. Not that I wouldn't have." Wesley shrugged slightly. "But yes, I'm aware of her mental state."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"It'd be hard to miss," Spike said. "It doesn't get any easier to live with after a century, either."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'm sure. It must have been very..." He searched around for the best word. "Challenging."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Could be, especially when she wanted to go dancing outside at noon or got into one of her weeping fits. They could last for bloody days." Spike shrugged. "But I loved her, so I stayed with her."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You're very loyal." As someone else who could be, Wesley understood.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike walked to the windows and looked out over the street below. "One way of looking at it," he said.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley waited, then asked, "That's not the word you'd use?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Back then, I was... fixated. Once I got an idea in my head there was no going back."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"So it wasn't loyalty, it was obsession?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"What? No." Spike turned from the window. "It was more than loyalty; it was bloody well love. It was just a vampire's version."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I see." Wesley felt fairly well-versed in Spike and Drusilla's shared history, but hearing it spoken out loud was different. Made it more real, somehow. "I don't see why it wouldn't be the same," he said, not sure that was entirely true, but wanting to make it so. Wanting to understand. "Love."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"At the time, I would've agreed. Love was love, and I felt it." His gaze focused on nothing, Spike paused and considered his words. "Now I can see where it was selfish, incomplete. Love is giving, not taking. Even when I was giving back then, I was still taking. Still wanted more than I had. Wanted everything."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"There were certainly limitations you were working under," Wesley pointed out. "The lack of a soul..."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I see that now, yeah," Spike said, turning his attention back to Wesley.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's different," Wesley said, but something in the tone of his voice made it clear that it was a question and not a statement.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Everything's different. I'm still me, but..." Spike shrugged.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"And so..." God, Wesley knew he shouldn't push, shouldn't ask it, but he was so intensely curious. "How you feel about Buffy...?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Isn't something I'm going to discuss with Angel's right-hand man.

"I love her," Spike said and hoped that it would be enough of an answer.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley blinked, then nodded. It wasn't as if he should have expected Spike to open up to him. "Right. Of course."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"But that's different, too," Spike admitted. "The soul changes everything."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Because you're more concerned about doing what's right for her?" Wesley guessed.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Was always concerned about what was right for her. Just have a better idea what that is now."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/3954.html).