Houston, we have breakfast!

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"There isn't that much in the flat to choose from," Spike replied, walking over to the microwave so that Wesley would leave his blood alone and find something for himself.

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Backing off -- he was most definitely unsure of how Spike was feeling about him, and rather afraid of having any overtures rejected -- Wesley went over to the refrigerator again and got out the eggs. "We'll have to get some sort of delivery service once we're settled somewhere else," he suggested a bit diffidently.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"For blood? It'd be convenient. I'm thinking for you we should spring for a personal chef." The microwave beeped, and Spike grabbed a mug from the dish drainer to fill with the warmed blood.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I don't need a chef," Wesley protested. "I'm perfectly capable of cooking for myself."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"But you don't," Spike pointed out.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"That doesn't mean I'm not capable."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I didn't say you weren't." Spike shook his head. "Never mind. It was a joke." Mostly.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley turned to smile at Spike uncertainly. "I know. That is, I know you were joking."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike nodded and took a sip of his blood with the hope that once his headache was gone he would be better able to read Wesley's reactions.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Why don't you sit down and get comfortable?" Wesley asked, setting a pan on the stove. "Eggs?" He remembered his own stomach's touchy nature after a night of drinking and amended, "Or maybe just toast."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

For once, the thought of eating was not appealing. "I'll stick with this," Spike said, lifting his mug slightly. He did pull out 'his' chair, though, and took a seat.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Trying to focus on what he was meant to be doing, Wesley heated up the pan, added some butter, and broke some eggs in, all without saying anything.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike took another long swallow of blood and then rested the mug and his forearms on the table in front of him. He realized that one nice thing about getting his blood from a butcher was not having to chase down his breakfast when he was hung over, but he doubted that Wesley would be interested in that conclusion and kept it to himself. "So, anything on your list for the day other than stalking the boy tonight?" he asked when it became clear that Wesley wasn't going to carry his part of the increasingly stilted conversation.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley rubbed his forehead wearily. "Not really. Was there anything you needed to do?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike could probably have used some more clothes and other supplies, but since he wasn't sure if he had any of the money he had won playing pool left after his drinking binge, he said, "No." Yet the thought of a quiet - or not so quiet - day alone with Wesley wasn't as pleasant as it could have been, given the obvious tension between them. "What's wrong?" he asked Wesley's back.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Besides the fact that I seem destined to destroy this relationship?" Wesley said, staring at the surface of the eggs.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I've never been much for destiny, and you haven't destroyed anything, pet," Spike said, trying to sound reassuring despite his own uneasiness. "Things are... bruised, maybe, but not broken. Not unless you want them to be."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Stony-faced, Wesley stirred the eggs, watching the yolks break and bleed over the whites. "Of course I don't want them to be. But then, what I want to have happen rarely seems to come into play."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"What you want matters to me," Spike said. Setting his mug down, he watched Wesley sadly, unsure whether going to touch him would help or hurt and not wanting to chance the latter.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

A little bit of the tension went out of Wesley when Spike said that. "Thank you." He spoke so quietly that anyone else might not have heard him.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"There's no need to thank me; I'll care whether you like it or not," Spike said with a bit of a grin, trying to lighten the tone of the conversation at least a little.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You do seem rather stubborn that way." Wesley smiled a bit.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Something we have in common." Spike drank some more of his blood and willed it to get rid of his hangover. "Besides being devastatingly good-looking, of course."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Realizing that he'd failed to make toast and that it was too late to do so now, Wesley decided on a slice of plain bread and grabbed a plate. He put the eggs -- a strange mix of scrambled and fried -- onto it, got a fork, and went over to join Spike at the table. Looking at the food, he said ruefully, "All right. Maybe a chef wouldn't be a bad idea."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike glanced at the unappealing mess of eggs on Wesley's plate and quickly looked away. "Looks like just having blood this morning was definitely the right decision," he said, giving Wesley a tentative grin to show that he wasn't being that critical.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Yes, well... you'll excuse me if I don't join you." Wesley took a bite of the egg -- it tasted fine, despite its appearance. "I do think I remember them saying something in school about protein being one of the building blocks to a healthy body."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You'd know better than I would. I just eat what tastes good." Spike finished off the rest of his blood before it got cold. "Or doesn't," he muttered, setting the mug down.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley looked at the mug. "Can I ask you something?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Anything," Spike said, his gaze focusing back on Wesley's face.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"If you were to go back to drinking human blood -- say, if we were able to find a supply of donated blood that could no longer be used for transfusions and would otherwise go to waste -- how would that differ from drinking animal blood?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Besides tasting a hell of a lot better?" Spike sat back and tried to think of how to explain the difference. "It's kind of like drinking plain water versus one of those poofy energy drinks; both of them make you less thirsty, but only one of of them gives you a boost." He frowned. That wasn't quite the right analogy. "Or maybe like eating those orange cheese puffs things instead of vegetables; both have calories, but the vegetables are better for you. Vampires aren't meant to feed off of pigs. The blood keeps me going, but no more than that."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

That wasn't exactly what Wesley wanted to know, but he was having a difficult time putting it into words. "What about your desire to feed?" he asked slowly. "Would it change, if you went back to human blood?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Feed directly from someone, you mean? Oh, pet, wanting to do that never goes away," Spike said with a rueful laugh. To try to answer Wesley's question, though, he considered the withdrawal from human blood he had gone through after he had killed those people while under the control of the First. How much of his violence in the house was caused by wanting to feed and how much was caused by the First was impossible for him to figure out. Most of that time was a blur. "It's hard to say. It might make it less, because I wouldn't be hungry for the blood, or it might make it more, because I'd be more... energized. Probably better to stick with the pig."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley ate some more as Spike talked, then said, "I didn't mean feeding directly from someone so much as just having a steady supply, but I see what you're saying. You think you might be less... reliable." It wasn't the proper word, but the proper one seemed almost rude.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wondered what the word Wesley had actually wanted to use was, but he decided that it was probably best not to know. "Definitely wouldn't make me more reliable," he said. "And, yeah, it'd be hard to go back to animal after feeding on human blood for a long time. I'm used to not having it now."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Trying to ignore the way his arm was itching, Wesley nodded. "That's good to know. What would... that is, if something happened and you weren't able to make a decision, and human blood was available... I assume you'd want it?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"What is this? An unliving will?" Spike asked with a laugh. "No, I don't have any problem with human blood; just depends on where it comes from."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I just want to know," Wesley said, thinking it shouldn't be necessary to explain why.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I don't want it if it hurts someone else," Spike said firmly, "but if you've got some of those hypothetical blood bank rejects lying about I'm all for it."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"What if the person was a willing donor?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike didn't like the possibilities that left open, but he finally said, "Use your judgment. As long as it's nothing permanent."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Of course, using his judgement was what had gotten them into the situation that caused the morning's argument, so Wesley wasn't sure that was really what Spike wanted. "Nothing permanent," he repeated.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Right," Spike said with a nod.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Taking his plate to the sink, Wesley took advantage of the fact that his back was to Spike and rubbed over his stitched arm with the knuckles of his opposite hand, sighing silently in relief as the itch eased. "You're sure there's nothing you wanted to do today?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I could take your stitches out," Spike said, noticing Wesley's only partially hidden movements. "Which isn't high on my list of exciting things to do to pass the time, but I'd rather do it than have you try because you're fed up with them."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

It would be a relief, but still, Wesley hesitated. He turned around. "Are you sure? You wouldn't mind?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"How hard can it be?" Spike asked, though he had no idea what was involved in the process. "Just give me a little while for my hands to get steadier."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/28478.html).