Brand New Day

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

When Wesley woke up, he was flat on his stomach with his head nearly underneath the pillow, and he was cold. In the middle of the night he'd woken enough to pull the covers up over both of them, but obviously at some point he'd kicked them back off again. He turned his head and saw that Spike was wrapped up in the ones that he'd discarded, an arm over his face as if even the small amount of sunshine coming through the closed window shade was too much.

He turned slightly and, trying not to disturb the sleeping vampire, untangled enough of the blankets so that he could cover himself again.

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike whimpered in his sleep as the world quaked around him, and he curled more tightly into a ball of misery.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The sound Spike made caused Wesley to frown. He thought for a moment, then got up as quietly as possible and went to the window, closing the curtains over the shade to darken the room. Then he went to the kitchen for a glass of water before getting a bottle of aspirin from the bathroom. He set both things on the bedside table and crawled back underneath the blankets, doing all of it as silently as he could manage.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

There was noise, movement, and a steady pressure in his head like his skull was being pried apart from the inside. It was enough to drag Spike out of the comfortable blackness of unconsciousness into a far less pleasant doze. There was warmth near him, though, and without opening his eyes he moved slightly in search of more of it. If he was lucky, it was coming from sunlight, and his pain would quickly be over.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley slid his body closer to Spike's slowly, since the vampire seemed to be seeking either comfort or warmth, and closed his eyes, curious to see if he could doze off to sleep again.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike didn't find the familiar sizzling heat of the sun, but when he moved his arm from over his face it collided with something warm, solid, and most definitely alive. He cracked open one eye, wincing at the dim light, to find Wesley lying next to him. Curling his hand over Wesley's shoulder and trying otherwise not to move, Spike shut his eye again.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

It wasn't as if Wesley didn't know what it was like to be terribly hung over. He stayed where he was without moving, preferring to let Spike come still closer if he wanted to, and breathed steadily, in and out.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike clung to Wesley gratefully if lightly; his mere presence was soothing, even if the sounds of his heartbeat and breathing were painfully loud in Spike's ears. "I can hear you thinking," he mumbled.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Sorry?" Wesley whispered, remaining where he was and trying not to think, which of course was impossible.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike snorted, which hurt and caused him to groan. He squeezed Wesley's shoulder. "Do me a favor, pet?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Yes, of course."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Go get one of those stakes on your dresser and put it right through my heart, would you?" There was a part of Spike that wouldn't have minded at all if Wesley were to agree.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Shh," Wesley said, reaching out a tentative hand to rub Spike's temple gently. "You'll feel better in a little while."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, it was nice being dust. Peaceful," Spike said, but he relaxed just a bit at Wesley's touch.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Well I'm glad you're not, even though I certainly understand why you might wish to be at the moment." Wesley continued the careful massage, being sure not to jostle the bed.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike kept his eyes shut and tried manfully not to whimper. "Let's put it this way; I'm thinking fondly back on my eyeballs melting."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I have water and aspirin here," Wesley said softly. "Would either of those help? Or I could get you some blood?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike's stomach roiled at the thought at putting anything in it, and he shook his head. The movement only added to the unpleasant pressure behind his eyes.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Then perhaps you should just try to go back to sleep," Wesley soothed, his fingers sliding back into Spike's hair as his thumb continued in slow circles at Spike's temple.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'm still waiting for the stake," Spike said, but he opened his eyes and gave Wesley a wan smile. "How much did I drink?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Supposedly 'only' one bottle," Wesley told him.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike grimaced. "Is that a quote, then?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"It's what you told me." Wesley wanted to help, but he didn't quite know what to do or say. "Do you not remember much of the evening then?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You're lucky I can remember my own name around this headache," Spike said, but he tried to pull his brain together enough to think about the previous night. It started to come back in odd impressions: seeing Wesley across the bar, drinking blood in the kitchen, dusting two annoying vampires, shuddering with pleasure as Wesley sank down on him, feeling sad and lost in the bar, feeling even more battered and exposed in the flat. "Oh, hell," he said, closing his eyes again.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley could see from the expression on Spike's face that he didn't like most of what he was remembering. "I'm sorry."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Admitting to his insecurities, quoting Shakespeare, talking about what had happened with Buffy. Spike rolled onto his back, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Oh bloody..." The sudden stabbing pain in his head from his rapid movement was actually a relief.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Backing off a bit, Wesley waited to see how Spike handled what he was remembering.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Don't suppose there's anything to drink in the flat, is there?" Spike said, not wanting to face the memories at all but especially not feeling like he did.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Not that I know of," Wesley said. "I could go out and get something, if it was necessary. I suspect you'd just end up feeling the same way later on though."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Not if I just kept drinking," Spike said with a heavy sigh. "But then god knows what else I'd end up saying."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I am sorry," Wesley repeated. "If it's any consolation, I won't let it happen again. Er, the parts that I was partially responsible for, at least."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You didn't force me to drink, pet, and it's not like you..." Spike trailed off as he remembered what - or, more precisely, who - had made him talk about things that he normally wouldn't have admitted under torture. "Oh."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I didn't force you to talk either," Wesley said, propping his head up on his arm and looking at Spike impassively. "I won't deny that I pushed the issue, but you could have refused to tell me. It's not as if I would have threatened to stake you."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike opened his eyes and tilted his head just far enough that he could look at Wesley. "You honestly think you gave me a choice? The details might still be a bit fuzzy, but I haven't forgotten that much."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley sighed. "What would you like me to do? Write it on the wall in foot-high letters?" Very quietly, he said again, "I'm sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, and if that was an error on my part, I apologize."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

That was enough to halt the rising tide of Spike's anger, though it did little to calm the uneasiness in his heart. "Didn't think you were apologizing for that," he said after a moment.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"What did you think I was apologizing for?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I don't know, but I didn't think you'd be sorry for that," Spike said, putting new memories in their places as they appeared. He cringed internally at the image of needing to lean on Wesley to walk into the bedroom. "You seemed determined enough."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I was." Wesley didn't feel particularly comfortable staying in bed during this conversation, but he didn't want to get up and jar the mattress, as it seemed that Spike had enough things causing him distress at that moment. "You'll find that I am, when I get an idea into my head."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I've noticed." Spike shut his eyes again to try to soothe the ache in his head; it didn't work at all, but he was treated to the more pleasant memory of the look of uncomfortable delight on Wesley's face when Spike had listed some of the many things that he liked about him. Though the reasons for liking Wesley hadn't changed, Spike wasn't feeling nearly so kind in the morning. Looking back at Wesley, he said, "Then why are you apologizing? Don't like the idea as much now, or just what you learned from it?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Because I don't like that it upset you," Wesley said.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike snorted and then winced as the ache in his head actively protested. "You thought it wouldn't?" he asked in disbelief.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley continued to resist the urge to get up. "I didn't say that. Of course any reasonable person would know that you were likely to be upset. That doesn't mean I wanted to upset you."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Then what did you want, if it wasn't to play a few rounds of 'kick the Spike' when I wasn't able to fight back?" Spike knew that that was an unfair accusation, and he immediately continued. "Sorry. Never mind. You wanted to know something I didn't want to talk about, and you saw a way to get it out of me. It's my own fault for drinking so much." Or, at least, drinking so much somewhere you could find me. Spike pressed his fingers to his temple, trying to dull the pain, but it didn't feel nearly as good as it had when Wesley had been touching him.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I wasn't doing it for me," Wesley said stubbornly, feeling a rising sense of injustice. Not that it should come as a surprise that his actions would be misinterpreted, but still, he'd hoped...

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/27195.html).