Talking, eating, yadda yadda yadda

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

Spike was glad that Wesley's back was still to him, since then there was no reason to have to meet his eyes. "I'm sure people have their reasons for their feelings," he said as neutrally as he could manage. "Either way."

Comments

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike could feel the hollowness growing in his chest, but he wouldn't look away. "Not overnight, no. I'm supposed to think that you, the most loyal person I've ever known, can just throw away however many years of history you have with him? Of course you bloody well can't."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley swallowed heavily. "Then there's no point to any of this, is there? Not if in your mind it will always be some sort of contest, some... method of measuring your worth against Angel's." He suddenly wanted, very badly, to sit down. "Not if there's no way to make you believe that one has nothing to do with the other."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"This isn't a contest to me," Spike said firmly. "What's between us has nothing to do with him, but I can't forget you've got other ties besides your feelings for me." His hands were beginning to tremble, and he fought to keep them still. "I don't know which would be stronger if you had to choose."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

The fact that Wesley wasn't sure either seemed less important than knowing that Spike doubted him. "Tell me what I can do to convince you. Tell me what you need me to say."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Feeling the weight of Wesley's unhappiness on his shoulders, Spike ached to be able to give him the answers he wanted, but it wasn't that simple. "Doesn't work like that," he said. "Why do I have to be convinced tonight?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You don't," Wesley said, after a moment's consideration. "But it might be nice to think that eventually you could be."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I never said I wouldn't be. You're the one saying there's no point to this if I have doubts." It wasn't quite a fair charge, but Spike was feeling more shaken up than he would have liked to admit by the multiple references Wesley had made to ending what was between them so soon after it had begun.