Trying to keep occupied

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Continued from here.

"Why would I be upset?" Spike asked. "It's the truth, isn't it? Better to tell her than having to explain in person when she shows up with chicken soup." Spike paused, his smile fading. "D'you think she will? I like the girl, and I'd love to show off my physical self, but all I'd be able to think about is what Angel did to her."

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I know." Wesley sighed. "I already feel guilty for not saying anything to her."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike nodded. "It'd be better to do it in person, though. It'll be hard for her to believe."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'm not sure how I'd be able to convince her, other than show her the canister with her name on it," Wesley said. "Assuming it's still there, of course."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike ran his hand down Wesley's arm. "No point in worrying about it now."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"No, I suppose not." Wesley reached out his opposite hand and rested it at Spike's waist, wanting to move in closer but not quite ready to do so.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike slid his fingers slowly over the cloth covering Wesley's forearm. "So, do you want to finish the chat we were having before the phone rang?" he asked, not entirely sure which way he wanted Wesley to answer.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I don't know. Do I?" Wesley smiled a little bit. "Do you?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Not really." Spike smiled back. "But it's just going to come up again, isn't it?"

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Probably. If you're around long enough." Because that was the real problem, from Wesley's perspective, at least -- whether or not Spike would stay.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"How many times do I have to say I'm not going anywhere before you're going to believe me?" Spike asked, feeling the frustration building inside of him.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"A few hundred?" Wesley shrugged apologetically.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Do you want that all at once or spread out over a few days?" Spike asked with a slight grin.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'll take whatever I can get," Wesley admitted, his fingers tightening on the waistband of Spike's jeans.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

And that was what Spike saw as the real problem, but it was a topic he hoped they could avoid. "I'm not leaving, Wes," he said simply.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley tried to smile. "So what number would that be, do you think? Twelve or so?"

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I'm not patient enough to keep count. You just tell me when it's enough, all right?" Spike regarded Wesley gravely. "I mean it when I say I'll stay as long as you want me."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"That could be a very long time," Wesley said, finally giving in to the impulse to pull Spike toward him.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike let himself be tugged forward. "I wouldn't mind," he said quietly, looking at his hand on Wesley's shoulder instead of meeting his eyes.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

As if he were watching someone else, Wesley saw his own hand come up and cup Spike's chin, exerting slight pressure in an attempt to get to Spike to look at him. "There's nothing I'd like better than for this to be permanent." In that moment, it was nothing but the complete truth.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Startled, Spike couldn't help but meet Wesley's eyes. He could see that Wesley believed what he was saying, and that made Spike all the more sad. Spike's desire to be wanted was a tangible ache, and he wasn't certain how much longer he could keep his heart from giving in entirely when Wesley was saying such things to him, no matter how it had to end.

He tightened his fingers in Wesley's shirt and said, "I know you're going through a rough patch, Wes, but the last thing you'll want when you're through it is me."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You couldn't be more wrong," Wesley said, looking directly at Spike. "I'm extremely fortunate that you're here right now, that's true, but the current situation has nothing to do with me wanting you."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"I know you believe that," Spike said with a small, sad smile, "but I don't."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"I'll have to convince you then," Wesley said, leaning in to kiss Spike very gently.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"It'd be nice to be wrong," Spike said, though he remained certain that he was right, and slid his arm around Wesley's waist.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"You have said you think I'm smart," Wesley pointed out. "Under the circumstances, I think you should accept that I know what I'm talking about."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"There's no question you're smart, but that doesn't mean you're seeing things clearly," Spike said. "But let's not argue about it, pet; the only way we'll know who's right is to let it happen."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"That's where I tend to fall down on the job. I'm not very good at just letting things happen." Wesley slid his other hand down over Spike's back.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"And I always bollix up my plans." Spike tightened his hold around Wesley's waist and brought their bodies in closer contact.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Very quietly, Wesley said, "Sounds like we'll have to meet in the middle."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"What's the middle here?" Spike asked. "What do you want from me?" It wasn't an accusation; it was an honest question.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"Whatever you're willing to give me," Wesley said, not unaware that it was an answer that made him sound terribly desperate. "I want you here, with me. I want... a partner."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Even though the soul had made Spike a bit wiser, he was still love's bitch. He wanted what Wesley was offering him, and even though it was a huge risk there was no way he was going to turn it down.

He brushed their lips together and said, "I want that, too. With you, Wes."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley didn't -- couldn't -- believe him. Still, it was nice to hear. Wonderful, actually. But it left him with no response that would be in any way appropriate, so instead of saying something, he held Spike more tightly and kissed him with as much feeling as he could put into the gesture.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike wanted to get lost in the kiss and the appealing promise of Wesley's words. He wanted to forget for a moment his continuing doubts and, even more, the lurking shadow of Angel, which threatened to turn the sweet taste of Wesley's mouth bitter on Spike's tongue. Determined not to let the coldness of reality ruin things before its time, he kissed Wesley more deeply and tried to forget about the rest.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Any second, Wesley told himself, they'd stop kissing, and do something productive. It didn't make sense for them to lose themselves in this, the heated press of lips, the careful stroking touch of hands over clothed skin...

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"You any closer to believing I'm staying?" Spike asked, barely pulling back from the kiss and continuing to slide his hands possessively over the planes of Wesley's back.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Unable to decide whether to press himself more closely to Spike's body or to arch back into the touch of his hands, Wesley moved in for another kiss instead, languid and open-mouthed, his tongue slicking against Spike's. "Maybe a little."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Guess I'll have to keep telling you 'til you trust me," Spike said, molding his hands over Wesley's shoulder blades and down his spine. "Or I could just keeping kissing you and hope you catch on."

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

"But we should..." Wesley broke off as he slid his hand around to Spike's chest, momentarily distracted by the feel of the taut nipple underneath the t-shirt. What should they be doing? He'd forgotten. "Generally I catch on rather quickly," he murmured. "I suppose in this situation it would be to my benefit if it took some time."

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

Spike moved into Wesley's touch and slid one hand to the small of Wesley's back to fit their lower bodies more closely together. "I didn't say I'd stop when you do believe me, did I?" He pressed his lips to Wesley's jaw, relishing the feel of the prickling whiskers and the soft skin underneath.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Wesley gave a little hum of pleasure and contentment and tilted his head slightly to give Spike better access. He slid his thumb through one of the belt loops on Spike's jeans and dragged him closer, not that there was much closer to get at that point. "Not stopping sounds like an excellent idea," he sighed.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Glad you agree," Spike said, smiling against Wesley's skin. His hands were firm on Wesley's back, but his mouth was gentle.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Little thrills, just the faintest stirrings of arousal, were moving through Wesley, making him aware that if this went much farther it would go all the way. There was something about Spike's touch that set a low fire burning, one that wouldn't be easily extinguished once a certain point had been reached. "Spike," he said in almost a whisper as the vampire's mouth traced his jaw toward his ear.

[flaming-muse.livejournal.com]

"Hmm?" Focused on the feel and taste of the warm body in his arms, Spike didn't lift his lips from Wesley's skin enough to form a proper word.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Continues here (http://www.livejournal.com/community/reality_bends/17338.html).