Spike couldn't do this. He couldn't fall apart. Not now, not when Wesley was still so frail and fragile. Maybe never in front of Wesley, because it would worry him. He had to be strong to get him through this, to be there, taking care of him, keeping him safe and on the right track toward recovery. He couldn't fall apart.

Steeling himself, Spike blinked back the tears that had begun to form and sat up again, recapturing Wesley's hand in his own. "I'm trying. And don't apologize, love. You've done nothing wrong."